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because I heard you were coming back! 1 told him my grandmother plays better
point guard in her motorized wheelchair!"
"You lost by forty points last game," Commando reasoned. "I'm better than
Kahlil, but I don't think it's forty points' worth."
"Itisl" bellowed Waldo, shaking Commando like a rag doll. "First of
all,they'd score less becauseyou play defense! ThenI'd score twenty more
because you'd give me the ball! Andyou'd pump in twenty from outside
compared with Kahlil going 0 for 35!" He shook harder. "Go back to Silverman!
Tell him you changed your mind! Tell him the stink in the school messed up
your head, and you didn't know what you were saying! Tell him anything! Just
don't do this to me!"
"Hey!" There was a tug at Waldo's shirt. Waldo released Commando and looked
around. But since he was looking at his own eye level, he failed to see little
Gerald Dooley, fists clenched, ready for war. "Lay off Commando!" Gerald
demanded.
Waldo stared down at him in total amazement. "What?"
"Lay off Commando," Gerald repeated fiercely, "or you'll be sorry!"
"Look, Gerald," Commando managed, "it's okay. We're just having a
discussion."
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The slight ten-year-old stood his ground. Beyond Gerald, Ric Ewchuk had
gotten up from his table and was scrambling over, eyes intent on Waldo. A few
feet behind him strode Yolanda, her face calm, but tough as nails.
Commando suppressed an insane desire to gig-
122______________________________THE TW1NK1E SQUAD
gle. "It's okay, Ric. No problem, Yolanda," he called out. "Really, we're
just hanging out."
Reluctantly, Gerald and Ric returned to their tables. So did Yolanda, but not
before giving Waldo a look of pure danger. "Go ahead," she said. "Make my
day."
Waldo walked away without another word, and Commando began selecting his
lunch. He was at the cashier when he realized what had just happened.The
Twinkie Squad was starting to stick together! Three Twinkies, who never
thought about anything except their own weird problems, had just rushed like
the cavalry to rescue him! Now what had broughtthat on?
Beverly Busby had noticed the incident as well and had advice for Waldo as he
sat down. "Stay away from the Twinkies. They're crazy. One of them could have
a grenade or something."
Carol laughed right in her face. "You know, you've got to do something about
your obsession with the Twinkies. Okay, they're a little weird, but that
doesn't automatically mean they're armed to the teeth."
"Go ahead and laugh!" challenged Beverly. "That Ric guy is wired! And you can
all see how Crazy Fairchild is wrecking1776."
"There's a big difference between card tricks and a grenade," Carol pointed
out. "And Ric can't help the way he is. The guy's hyperactive."
"You mean hyperstupid," amended Beverly. "Hey, did you guys hear the latest?
Silverman's out of his office he's working in some broom closet. The Grand
Knights set off another stink bomb. Sabotaged his toilet, too!"
Carol snorted. "This is just like you, Bev. Poor
The Broom Closet______________________________123
Fairchild messes up a bit during rehearsal, and he's public enemy number one;
but when the Grand Knights wreck the whole school, they're the coolest club
around!"
Beverly stared at her. "How can you compare the Grand Knights to a Twinkie?
Bite your tongue!"
Waldo was concentrating on Kahlil, who was picking peas out of a bowl of
vegetable soup and discarding them on his napkin. "Yo, Kahlil, man, can 1
treat you to some dessert?"
Kahlil was surly. He turned to Carol. "Tell Turcott that if I play like his
grandmother,he plays like my
"That's it?" hooted Carol. "You had all morning to think up a return insult,
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and that's the best you can do?"
"Hey, man," retorted Kahlil, "1 let my game do the talking."
"Then you don't say much," retorted Carol evenly.
With the play scheduled for Friday night, the last week of rehearsals became
more and more intense. If Mr. Torrance had been nervous before, he was now a
total wreck, vibrating like a guitar string. Commando spent whole practices
going back and forth to the coffee machine for the director. And despite
warnings, threats, and begging and pleading, Douglas continued to experiment,
searching for the true character of the first president.
On Tuesday, he played General Washington with a slight limp. As the play wore
on, the limp grew more pronounced until, by Yorktown, he was dragging his leg
and groaning loudly.
On Wednesday, he played up General Washington
124______________________________THE TWINK1E SQUAD
as a "nice guy" by delivering a long speech forgiving Benedict Arnold for his
"little peccadillo."
The play had been moved to the high school auditorium because of the ongoing
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