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though I don t think that will last very long.
And what exactly does that mean? I asked.
It s a surprise. I think you mentioned that you like surprises. Come on,
let s go. Your ass is leaking all over the floor.
He stepped back as I walked out of the room, not letting me get close. He
kept the gun pointed at me as I walked down a short hallway.
In there, he said. I entered a small room containing nothing but a wooden
bench and an overhead light. He tossed me the plastic bag. There s gauze and
tape in there. Enjoy.
He slammed the door shut.
So, was my situation better or worse? Obviously I d lost some of their
respect, but had I erased any of their doubts about me?
At leastCharlotte was still alive.
And I had a plan.
When they brought out the next victim, I d be sitting up there with the other
spectators, and this time there wouldn t be a giant plastic cube separating
us. I d arrange to sit next to Josie. When the others were distracted by the
show below, I d put the knife to her neck, before any of them got a chance to
pull those damn guns on me. Daniel wouldn t risk his wife for the sake of some
prisoners. At least I didn t think so.
If I couldn t sit next to Josie, I d go for Daniel.
If I had to, I d use one of the others. I wasn t sure Daniel would surrender
to save somebody like Stan, but I had to try. Regardless, no matter what, I
was going to act.
I taped myself up, padding my pants with the gauze. It was too painful to
sit, so I paced around the room, waiting for them to come get me.
Half an hour passed. They were probably still having convulsions of laughter.
Bastards.
Another full hour passed before the door opened. Foster again, still holding
his gun. Let s go, he said. We re about to have an emergency meeting.
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I WAS TAKEN back inside the mansion, to a large, nicely furnished den. Daniel
shut off the wide-screen TV with the remote control as Foster and I entered.
He was sitting next to Josie on a loveseat, while Mortimer reclined in an easy
chair, sipping a bottle of beer. Stan sat on the floor, leaning his back
against a small couch as he chewed on a pencil.
Welcome back, Andrew, said Daniel. How s the ass doing?
It s fine, I said. I glanced around the room approvingly. Very nice.
Thanks. Why don t you have a seat? We ve got something to discuss.
I d rather stand, for obvious reasons.
Yeah, I know, but I d rather you sit.
Foster pushed a metal folding chair behind me. I sat down with a wince.
Care for a beer? Daniel asked.
Nah, that s all right.
Pop?
Excuse me?
Sorry, I guess that s soda to you southern folk.
I knew what you meant. No, no soda, thanks.
Bottled water? Anything?
I m fine.
You sure? Okay. Daniel leaned forward. All right, Andrew, I m going to be
straight with you. I don t think this is working out. You re not enjoying
yourself, and you re not fitting in.
I didn t say anything.
I thought I was going to be giving you the vacation of a lifetime. I ve put
so much hard work and energy into this place, and I can t share it! It s
frustrating. And so I leapt at the chance to bring in a new person, but I
didn t think it through, and I ve treated you horribly, and for that I
apologize.
I m sorry, too, I said.
We ve all discussed this, and we feel it s best if we take you home. I ll
let you decide what you want to do with Roger. I d prefer that you leave him
here for us, but that s up to you. Do you think we can end this without hard
feelings?
Absolutely.
Would you mind filling out one of our customer satisfaction surveys before
you leave? Daniel asked. No, I m kidding, but I do have one question. Did
you honestly think we weren t going to find out that you ve been lying to us
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all this time?
Chapter 16
THERE WERE many possible responses to that query, but I went with the most
generic. I don t know what you re talking about.
Now, see, that s the kind of thing that really bugs me, said Daniel. I m
not stupid, and I d like you to respect my intelligence. You re not the
Headhunter, you never were. You re Andrew Mayhem, happily married with two
kids and a best friend you d give your life for. I m assuming you managed to
get the real Headhunter to blab his whole story, and you thought that you d
pass yourself off as him to be a great big hero and rescue all these poor
innocent victims. Now tell me, is that a reasonable assessment of the
situation?
I remained silent.
I m not playing around anymore. The games are on hold. I asked you a
question, and I expect an answer.
No, it s not a reasonable assessment.
Is that a fact? Okay, then, Mortimer, would you like to show Exhibit A?
Mortimer held up the piece of notebook paper I d tried to fax. The writing
was smeared, but still legible, even with my lousy handwriting.
Exhibit A, found in the pants pocket of a Mr. Andrew Mayhem, one hour ago by
Mortimer, who was so kind as to say yes when I asked him to throw some clothes
in the wash. Not a very promising sign of your loyalty to our little group,
now is it?
I can explain, I said. I desperately wanted myself to just shut up, but the
lame comments kept spewing out of my mouth.
I m not interested in your explanation quite yet. Ready for Exhibit B?
I m ready for Exhibit B, said Foster.
Alas, there is no real Exhibit B. Exhibit B is simply the agreement by all
of us that your story is complete bullshit. To be totally honest, you were
pretty questionable from the beginning, to some of us more than others, but I
think even without Exhibit A we d still be in this same spot, having this same
conversation. Without the references to Exhibit A, naturally.
Or Exhibit B, Josie added.
Right, though the gist of Exhibit B would remain, it simply wouldn t have
been referred to as Exhibit B, since there would have been no Exhibit A to
follow. Do you understand what I m driving at, Andrew?
Just that you people are totally sick in the head.
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Daniel frowned. Now, that s another one of those things that really bugs me.
I m not asking you to throw yourself at my feet in tears or anything, but it
wouldn t hurt you to be polite.
You expect me to be polite while you re accusing me of this nonsense? I d
developed such an unbearably bad headache that I now had an escape plan. I d
simply wait to my head to explode, and then use the distraction to flee.
Okay, now we ve gone past the point of things that bug me into the realm of
things that piss me off. We ve caught you, Andrew. You re dead. You re
history. In fact, when you find out what we ve got planned for you, you re
going to wish you d been one of those poor souls we tore apart with the
darts.
I wholeheartedly agree with that statement, said Foster. Your death is not
going to be a nice one.
No, it s not, Josie added. I ve never considered myself a squeamish woman,
but just thinking about what s going to happen to you makes me want tosqueam
.
Daniel chuckled. So shall we get to it?
Whoa, hold on, I said, barely able to hear my own words. Don t I get to
tell my side of it?
Daniel shook his head. No. You do not.
You can t do this. You can t drag me all the way toAlaska for your little
party and then treat me like this.
Daniel slammed his fist against the armrest, making Josie jump. You are not
the Headhunter! he screamed. Stop insulting my intelligence! You are dead!
D-E-A-D! And there s not a single thing that can save you! Do you understand?
The doorbell rang.
What the hell? asked Daniel.
People know where I am, I said. Cops, FBI, the whole works. I ve got a
tracer in my shoe. They ve known where I was from the beginning. So I strongly
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